all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
