At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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