like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
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