You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
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