she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
