somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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