Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
