You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
