Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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