i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
