I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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