Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
