so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
