i think my tv is drunk
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
should my penis look like a turkey
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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