i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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