Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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