Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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