I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
