ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
