Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize