we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Randomize
