We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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