she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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