Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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