Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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