I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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