We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
