i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize