there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Your cock deserves a montage
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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