The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
