Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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