I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
is that a dick in a sweater?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
