i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
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