the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
it glows. i had to have it.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
