dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
They have beer where we have blood.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
