drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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