Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
