So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
