i jhust puked up my retainher.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
