Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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