I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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