p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
