I cannot find my penis.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
