Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
