The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
