You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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