you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize