Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Did I show you my penis last night?
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
