We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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