You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
