It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Randomize
