sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
