Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize