I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
