3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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