u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Sext me about skeletons
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
