I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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