are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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